i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
You made out with two different species that night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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