get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
