it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
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