It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize