He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
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just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
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They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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