so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
