why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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