You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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