You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
