He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
