he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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