I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
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