Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize