Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Randomize
