It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
NoShamevember. You game?
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
