i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
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