Fine. I'll sleep in my office
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
