come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
there was a trapeze. enough said
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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