I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
