i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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