JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
