new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
