fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
You're like the curious george of whores
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize