i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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