at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
I did not marry a roomba.
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