best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
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