Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
