you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize
