Nicole vs. Life
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
