I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
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