and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
