I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
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