I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
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