you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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