Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
