he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
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she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
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I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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