bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Randomize
