I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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