Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I bet he comes in French.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
