I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Randomize
