how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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