At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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