So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
