you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
