it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
