So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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