mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize
