Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
You smell like stripper and shame
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize