I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
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