Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
