It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
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