No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Randomize