Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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