Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Randomize
