The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
