but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
