my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
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We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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