Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Randomize