those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
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