So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
