I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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