Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
