come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
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